It was pitch black outside. The sky was full of dark clouds with no sight of moon anywhere. The only light that was present was the one coming out of the headlights of our Safari. Rani and I, least bothered about all this, were busy singing Dating is a fantasy song from Boys which was blasting out of the Pioneer speakers in full volume. We were listening to that song for the third time in a row by then. Rani decided to change the CD and started surfing the CD case when she laid her hands on Darna Mana Hain CD. She hadn't heard those songs until then and wanted to try them. She slid the disc into the system and bang came the voice of Sunidhi Chauhan from it.

It slowly started to drizzle outside and we rolled up the windows. As I started telling her how different Darna Mana Hain (DMH) was from the movies we get to see these days, our Safari suddenly started going in a zig-zag fashion until I applied the brakes. Shucks, a flat tire just like in the movie. I could not help laughing at the similarity but luckily we had a spare tire and a jack. Since the drizzle had already transformed into a heavy downpour, there was no way I could change it. So we ran into a nearby dilapidated bungalow, just like in the horror movies. Strangely neither of us was scared. In fact Rani was more intrigued than being scared.

We were not alone in that bungalow. There were already two people, who, we were told, were visitors like us. We introduced ourselves and they told us their names as SA Meera Reddy and SU Shanth. We were all waiting for the rain to subside and at the same time were fighting boredom. Meera came up with an idea that each of us should narrate a weird story to kill time. Not bad, we thought. I told them this was just like in DMH where a group of friends stranded in a jungle narrate some weird stories and in the end Sameera Reddy and Sushanth become ghosts. Anyways, Meera and Shanth asked us to go first.

Rani started narrating a story about two friends, a guy and a girl, and another girl, whose size would shock anybody to blurt out - Ammo ammayena? with an open mouth. She started -

"There are like these two very close buddies since childhood. Though they have grown up together they haven't any slightest inkling of "lovey-dovey" love. This girl, though a Christian can outsmart even a staunch Hindu with her knowledge about Ramayana and Mahabharata. Well, I said staunch Hindu but not a smart Hindu. So, anyways, her dad is pretty cool about her friendship with this guy, whom he calls as 'alludu'. Wonder why? But anyways, we were supposed to be as weird as possible, right? So I go on.

This guy has two brothers, an elder one, who always chides this guy and a younger one, who never cares for this guy. Actually you know what? Let's get rid of this younger one. I want the focus only the guy and the girl for now. So how do I that? Oh yeah, lets send this younger one to the US. Ok he goes to the US, for god knows what. H1, F1, who cares yaar? As long as he gets a visa!

This elder brother is happily married and has two kids. Because there is so much happiness in his own family, he can't see our hero being idle and happy. He constantly nags about the hero and fills his ears. But big bro's are all like that. Boring, aren't they?

Our (vaga)bond hero has a few other friends apart from the girl who are living testimony for the fact that man evolved from monkeys. Only, these guys haven't evolved completely.

Oh no, too many characters. Lets kill the girl's dad. So one day, the girl's dad dies funnily have fun. Our (vaga)bond hero comes to the girl's rescue and takes her to his home. Though irritated initially, our (vaga)bond's big bro and family realize that this girl, who is a teacher by profession, can be a tuition teacher-cum-maid-cum-cook at their home. They realize that buy one get one free is an old thing, bear one and get one free is the new thing.

The girl also helps our (vaga)bond hero set up a video shop. Alas, all good things come to an end don't they? Well, I was talking about the hero's aimless wandering. Mind you, not the story.

Ok, now its time for some earth-shattering, ground-pounding entrance. Yeah its time for our heroine to baffle us, oops I meant dazzle us. She is happily snoring in a train compartment and our hero is instantly smitten by her. Love at first sight? Yeah, our hero has some problems with his sight. Anyways, he sings a song, records it in a tape and leaves it with her. Ever wondered about heights of novelty? That's what this is.

Initial misunderstandings, regular ring-a ring-a roses (I go behind you, you come behind me) later, they are married. They sing a coupla songss and in of those he calls her 'jaampandu'. Whoa! Our hero, for sure has sight problems. How else could he be so moderate in calling her a mere jaampandu? Anyways, meanwhile the girl (and by this I mean hero's friend and not the wife), is in love with another guy, who happens to be hero's rival in cricket. Oh yeah! Our hero is a champ at cricket. Well, that should go almost without saying. Who isn't fond of cricket, tell me? And if it is the hero, he just can't be fond of the game; he should also be a champ at it. So, there goes that.

But, as weird as this might sound, the girl somehow doesn't tell her close buddy, the hero, about her being in love. Well, you might ask me, what else are friends for, if you don't share your secrets with them? It's just a story man! Don't be too snooty crying for logic. So where were we? The girl's new found boy friend's dad asks the hero to give up his chance to play at the national level if he really wants the girl to get married to his son. Our hero opts for sacrifice. Budugu, wake up! My hero here is scoring and you are happily snoring?

How come you guys are sleeping? Ok let me get to the end. Gallons of tears flow, a gamut of realizations dawn, and pages of dialogues get exchanged. Finally all the misunderstandings are cleared and hero is elevated to the level of Good Samaritan. And yes there is vasantham, who cares if it's new or old, in their lives."

Rani ended her story and boom Shanth vanishes unable to take one more. But they have asked for it themselves. Meera looks at me. No, actually looks up to me for some solace. In an honest attempt to provide her with that, I start my story-

"There is this guy, who is not only an all-rounder but who is also all 'round'. Apart from being an honest worker for a rich family he can also turn out be a horrendous slayer of the villains of this rich family, if need be.

My story is a little different. I don't quite comprehend that a guy and girl can just be friends and nothing more. So my story also has two girls but they are both wooing this guy and vying for his attention. And thankfully there is no earth shattering and ground pounding here; well at least in the form of size of the girls.

Girlie #1 is rich and wears clothes that cover less and reveal more. She is supposed to be studying in a city but later shifts her studies to I donno where in the village. But in doing that, she leaves her brains in the city. Now, that I surely know. She is head over heels on the hero. Regarding the 'head' part in the last line, don't bother too much about that. That was just a phrase.

Heroines till now have used pigeons, dogs, parrots, elephants, tigers and may be many more fauna to express their love to the hero. But this girlie uses an ant. Now that talks about the size of her head/brain. In spite of her untiring efforts, the hero doesn't relent. Cheema, doma or this bhama, none of these appeal to him. But he has his own obligations for this kind of stern brahmacharya, with this girlie.

Enter girlie #2. If girlie #1 has no brains, this one has brains but screws that hold them are loose. What I meant to say was she is mentally retarded. Hero sings songs to her, dances to her tunes (literally and otherwise) and takes the blame of her pranks. When girlie #1 and the rich family come to know of this girlie #2, they boo the hero and alienate him forgetting all the good work he did to the family. But why is our slayer such a slacker in not opening his mouth to clear things up? Well, hero's philosophy is - people can be mean to you but still they don't mean to be mean to you.

During a fight with the goons, who come in search of our hero all the way from Kerala, girlie #2 gets hit on the head and bingo she remembers it all (we'll get to that in just a minute) and stabs the hero. Man, Not one more! Turns out that girlie #2 is also mean to the hero. Phew! Rounded by troubles and mean people this all-rounder is fighting for his life in the hospital.

Flashback - girlie #2 is actually the daughter of the elder daughter, who elopes with a Keralite to Kerala, of the patriarch of the rich family, the hero was serving until they threw him out. Hero goes to Kerala to find his rich man's daughter and her family and bring them back. Though the hero is in Kerala, all the people whom he meets there, be it the girlie #2, or the inspector, or the ministers, or the rowdies, or the priests or even the people, they all speak in chaste Telugu, sometimes even in various dialects of Andhra. Anyways, who is interested in the finer details? Let's put up with them, the same way you are putting up with this story.

Wherever the hero goes, he has to have somebody to prove his heroism, right? So sticking to that formula, he has a bunch of nasty nuts to be broken in Kerala. He takes on a sole mission to clean up Kerala which has a lot of filth. And I don't mean that literally.

In his cleansing process, he invites the ire of the goons who kill girlie #2's mom, on whose search the hero came to Kerala. Also the hero, in trying to stick to his rule #1, which also happens to be his de facto standard for anything and everything, kills girlie #2's dad. Whoa! Now that was something which we haven't heard or seen. Naturally girlie #2 is shocked on seeing the hero kill her innocent dad and boom she goes nuts (literally) and becomes mentally retarded.

Let's dwell into that rule #1 of this student no.1 which is - For the betterment of ten people, he doesn't hesitate to give his life or take the life of somebody. So to save a bunch of people on a train, hero kills girlie #2's dad in whose suitcase the goons have inserted a bomb. Scary, isn't it? But the girlies aren't scared at all. In fact girlie #2 repents for trying to kill such a noble man.

So many twists and turns, no wonder girlie #2 went insane half way through the story. Ok, now to the climax, with things cleared up (as if they wouldn't be, huh!), its time to clean the filth that has now invaded Andhra to kill our hero. After a helluva bashing and blabbering about the greatness of Andhra matti, Andhra satta etc etc. the filth is finally down the drain. For cleaning up both the states of Andhra and Kerala, the hero is rewarded with both the girlies, who fight for the hero pulling him to their sides. Gattiga laagu, haisa. Joruga laagu haisa! Balamga laagu haisa, Buddodini laagu haisa!!.......

Amidst the cries of haisas, I suddenly fell from my bed and woke up. Was that all a dream I saw? I was so disappointed. What must have happened to SA Meera Reddy after listening to the last story? Did she survive it or did she vanish too? Guesses Mana Hain!

Bye for now folks,
Budugu

Past Budugu Trivia
Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon
Manmadhudu
Chennakesavareddy
Indra
Jayam
Allari
Santosham
Vasu
Aadi
Nuvvu Leka Nenu Lenu
Takkari Donga
Seema Simham
Adhipati
Nuvvu Naaku Nachav
Akasa Veedhilo
Naa Manasista Raa!
Bava Nachadu
Prematho Raa!
Kushi
Eduruleni Manishi
E for Elopement
Narasimha Naidu
Murari